The Brutal Truth About Anger

Last week I attended a networking event and had the good fortune of meeting a very interesting gal. In fact we met in the elevator en route to the function. It would take little time for us to connect. She had quickly zoomed in on the title of my book and organization. Yes, The Brutal Truth is very catchy. Within minutes she recognized key aspects of my approach to the work that I do addressing the systemic problem of bullying and misuse of power. She expressed it incredibly well informing me she would write about it and share it on her post. She followed through and has given me permission to share it. From email subject heading right through to end Julie succinctly captures the significance of anger.


The Truth is …I’m Pissed Off!!

Julie Ward, Intimate ReconneXYons Coach (


Hey Marilyn,

That’s right! I’m ANGRY!!! GGGRRRRR!

The other day, I got a call – a married woman in a lot of pain, silently suffering because she could not speak her truth to her husband about how she was feeling. Truth is she was feeling ANGRY about some stuff, stuffed it down, got depressed and was now scared, hopeless and feeling pretty lousy.

She had BS (belief systems) running her life like

“Good girls don’t get angry.”

The next day, I’m talking to a colleague and I say “Hey! I was feeling angry and…” and she interjected with “Oh – I NEVER get angry …it’s so not useful.”

Again! What a bunch of BS! People are afraid to let themselves FEEL anger!

It really burns my butt when I hear “I aspire to only LIGHT and LOVE” when the truth is – we are human, with a full range of emotions. We do not get to pick and choose emotions – either we feel fully or we close up to varying degrees.

Consider that anger is a message that LOVE is not present and is wanting to be expressed.

I’m pretty sure Ghandi got angry, Jesus when he trashed the temple and Mother Teresa? Yeah, she was pissed for sure! If someone tried to harm my children, you can bet I’d be one angry mama bear! And inspired action!

Now repressed anger IS toxic! It’ll bite back eventually – either in a blow up, break up or sickness. Anger expressed in service to coming back to love, to our true heart’s desire is healthy.

I appreciate Julie understanding me and the message I have about the systemic problem of bullying and misuse of power. It is very important to understand the legitimacy of anger and my use of it as a tool to bring about the much needed changes. She brings clarity to how denial of anger has detrimental effects but used well can lead to healthy relationships.


And although we have different opinions on my subject we both promote coming from truth, even if it is harsh.


Truth is the best place to start for remedy…and I believe for the systemic problem of bullying and misuse of power it is mandatory.



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